A week ago Thursday, my dear mentor and friend Reva Bernstein’s soul left her body. In the spirit of Focusing, that is, to spend time with what is present in the moment, in a compassionate and spacious way, I’ve chosen to dedicate this newsletter to Reva.

After fighting cancer and various other conditions for years, Reva’s doctors advised that she enter hospice care. She made this decision only after speaking with those closest to her, and then Focusing on what choice felt most right to her.

I was honored to be one of those with whom she shared this process. After living fully for nearly 81 years, and having contributed so much to so many, she chose to enter hospice care. Just a few days later, Reva was blessed to leave this life in just the way that she’d wanted- peacefully, at home, with a smile on her face.Reva was my Focusing mentor for many years. For the past 4 years, since a month long visit to Israel (her first and only time to visit here) I was blessed to also enjoy a special friendship with her.

Some of you knew Reva; many others have heard me speak of her. My life and work have been and continue to be profoundly influenced by Reva.

I will miss her dearly. At the same time, I would like to think that in some way a part of her vitality, joyful spirit, warmth and kindness continue to live on in me and through me will bless you as well.

These words of Isaiah seem to epitomize Reva: For you shall go out with joy, and be led forth with peace: the mountains and the hills shall break forth before you into singing and all the trees of the fields shall clap their hands.
Reva had a deep connection with her Jewish roots. So it somehow seems fitting that her soul chose the holiday of Purim as the day in which she made the transition from her earthly body.

Purim is the holiday that falls on the full moon of the month of Adar. In Jewish tradition it is said that when we enter the month of Adar, joy is increased. This year, the month of Adar began with sunset on Thursday, February 23, and lasts until sunset on March 23.

Helen Keller remarked, “Happiness can’t come from without. It must come from within.” She also wisely noted, “When one door of happiness closes, another opens, but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one that has been opened for us.”

Reva modeled both of these sentiments well. In spite of numerous medical complications that caused repeated disappointments when they led to her having to cancel plans she’d eagerly looked forward to, there was rarely a time when she was not able to find something to smile at.

Cultivating more happiness in your life

How might we experience more happiness? As much has been written on this subject, for now, I’d simply like to invite you to consider what makes you happy.

For some it’s certain people their lives, or being out in nature, or simply feeling at peace wherever they might be.

What is it that makes you happy, that brings you joy?

Personally, I seem to feel the most joy when I am able to slow down, to pay closer attention, even to small things in life: To what a friend is saying. To the intricacies of a flower. To the feeling of fresh air on my skin after having been indoors for a while.

I invite you to take a moment now to pause, perhaps to take a deep breath, and then to exhale completely. And then to gently ask yourself, what might add more joy to my life today? Perhaps even in this moment?

Sometimes something as simple as taking a moment to notice and appreciate some of the smaller blessings in your life can have a significant affect on your state of mind and how you feel.

My wish for you is that you will experience more joy in your life, every day, whatever blessings and challenges might come your way!