13 January, 2012

First of all, I’d like to take this opportunity to wish you all a happy and healthy 2012!

We’re now in the Hebrew month of Tevet, a month characterized by a fast day that commemorates the siege of Jerusalem over 2400 years ago, in 425 BCE. This onslaught was the beginning of the attack that eventually led to the destruction of the First Temple in Jerusalem, and the exile of the Jews of that time to Babylonia.

While writing in my journal earlier this month, I was reflecting on what it means to be in exile. We generally think of exile in the geographic sense. But we often experience exile on an inner dimension as well.

This might take the form of spiritual exile. Or, sometimes parts of our psyche, such as particularly vulnerable, needy parts, may go into exile as a way of attempting to stay safe.

Engendering distance from aspects of our own innermost selves may occur from a wide range of factors, including both internal and external stresses ranging from societal or family pressures or outside events.

For many of us, scared, embarrassed, or insecure aspects of ourselves may go into exile. An example of this is someone who outwardly appears to be strong and “together,” yet inwardly has trouble with intimate relationships, or perhaps feels somehow incomplete.

For others, it could be that stronger parts go into exile. This is more likely to happen for girls and women who somehow get the message that being strong, or assertive is not attractive or is otherwise not acceptable.

The tricky thing about inner exile is that we are often not even aware that this is happening. So that parts of ourselves can be “lost” for years or even decades.

Focusing can help to both identify and heal our inner exiles. One example of how Focusing can help is to create a sense of inner safety necessary for inner exiles to feel safe enough to show themselves to us. Another way Focusing can help is by fostering a safe, healing inner relationship with formerly exiled parts so that we can gradually be restored to wholeness.

Want to learn more about Focusing, and about finding and healing your inner exiles? Just click on the highlighted links to read more about Focusing, and about one-to-one sessions, and Focusing training. If you don’t find what you’re looking for, please let me know!

My wish for you is that you feel safe and supported in your own personal quest for wholeness, so that you might continue to heal and grow in just the way that feels right to you.

Some quotes to support us on the path of finding & being with our inner exiles

There are wildernesses to be tamed within, and hostile beings we may encounter, but even those respond better to a touch of the silk glove than to the slap of the gauntlet. – Steven Larsen

Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive and go and do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive. – Howard Thurman

The privilege of a lifetime is being who you are. – Joseph Campbell

Things that matter most must never be at the mercy of things that matter least. – Price Pritchett

About the photos

The photo to the left was taken at the Jerusalem Botanical Garden on a rainy Friday morning.

The photos of the other flowers were taken on my travels through Jerusalem and elsewhere.